Sure, You’re Ready For Frankenstorm Sandy, But What About The Zomney Apocalpyse?

So I feel a little bad about feeling so giddy the other day when I learned that I had achieved my life long dream of having a hurricane named after me. I really thought at this late date in the hurricane season that my namesake storm would head to sea and fizzle out. But that was not to be. Instead I’ve become a giant perfect Frankenstorm.

There are those who think I am a freak of nature though I’ve always thought that I was just left behind when my parents decided that Earth would be a nice pit stop before continuing on their interplanetary adventure. But for those of us non-climate change deniers, we know Frankenstorm Sandy may simply be the new normal in weather. For those climate change deniers who may have stumbled here, you might want to remove your head from wherever it has been and read a scientific paper or twenty. This is not new news but we may soon pass the point of no return of reversing the damage we have done to our little planet.

This was supposed to be a funny cheerful post for my blog friends who are awaiting the Frankenstorm. I suppose you don’t want to know that it is a beautiful fall day here after a couple of cloudy windy days, but it is. Elyse at FiftyFourandaHalf might need help clearing debris and wants me to bring a chainsaw and help her after the storm clears out. I’d love to do that except I don’t have a chainsaw because power tools frighten me. If it requires more than a hammer, screwdriver or pair of pliers, I need help. There might be some of you who think that’s not the kind of help I need and you might be right. But I do need that kind of help, too.

This might cheer you up. I lost four pounds. I’m not sure where they went since I wasn’t trying to lose them, but gone they are. It could be my new naked morning yoga, non-naked afternoon tap dancing and walking routine combined with my mostly healthy eating habits. I’ve heard that there could be a connection. Four pounds may not seem like much but on a normal sized person it would be like losing 15 pounds.

On Saturday I went to the first annual Halloweenie Roast. Machine Head and All That Remains kicked ass. It was the consensus of the people in my area that Marilyn Manson was good but not quite on top of his game. Rob Zombie closed the show and his was a tour de force performance. It was also a prime venue for people watching. The young man seated in front of me was recording Rob Zombie on his (the young man’s and not Rob Zombie’s as I’m sure Rob Zombie has professionals that can do that sort of thing for him) cellphone, but he was jumping up and down to the music as he was recording. I think he might get a bit of motion sickness when he watches the playback unless he jumps up and down while watching it.

Finally, I stumbled across this little gem thanks to Alternet. The giant perfect Frankenstorm Sandy might seem like just a little precipitation compared to the impending Zomney Apocalypse. Judge for yourself. And if you know the answer to the burning question of why does a can of spam need its own key, then leave your answer in the comments.

To all my friends who are awaiting the full moon and Frankenstorm Sandy, stay warm and dry and safe. Those of us out of harm’s way are thinking of you and thanking God we’re not where you are.

Obviously, I stole this from the video and you can feel free to steal it from me. Abbie Hoffman would approve or at least, I think he would since he wrote a book called “Steal This Book.”

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11 thoughts on “Sure, You’re Ready For Frankenstorm Sandy, But What About The Zomney Apocalpyse?

  1. You just never do anything by half measures do you Sandy? You get a storm named after you & it’s a freak storm causing wide spread damage. Hoping all my East Coast blogging buddies are OK. You go girl!

  2. My girl showed me that video last night. Very funny, and I can’t wait for the Zomney announcement that Whedon endorsed him. There will be a lot of confused fans then…

    Glad to hear you’re keeping on with the tapping, and as far as the storm, well,I always knew you’d be here in a whirlwind. Just would be nice with a bit more whirl, and a bit less wind… 😉

  3. Sandy (and by that I mean my bloggin’ buddy and not my blowin’ buddy), that video was great! How did I not see it before???? “That’s how Mitt Romney sees poor people.”

    Perfect.

    Oh and sorry you are afraid of power tools. I am pretty sure I will be able to help you work through those issues in the next few days!

    • When I think of power tools, I have visions of a loss of an appendage and lots of blood, probably mine. Also the scene in Body Double where the girl got killed with a power drill kind of put the kibosh on my wanting to own power tools.

  4. If it’s not one storm type, it’s another. Choose your font.
    All I could think was at least they won’t be suffering all that after storm heat and humidity – but snow, seriously unnecessary. What a mess. A real Halloween horror story.
    But it looks like this is a return of the weather pattern of the 1950’s which had lots of east coast hurricanes….so maybe plan to rebuild up and to hurricane standards like Florida and the Gulf Coast. May be hard for historic areas to agree to that.
    Hope everyone stays safe during the storm recover – lots of dangers left out there.

    • You’re so right, Philosopher. Everyone needs to be careful during the cleanup phase. Patience helps, too. Being without electricity especially for an extended period is tough.

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