Warped Goats Assisted Earth Girls In Rainy Beer Escapade

I had an interesting day, or at least it was interesting to me. I’ll fill you in on the highlights. I was asked to buy a case of beer for someone who thought I was 38 years old although he didn’t use that strategy to get me to buy the beer. The me looking like I”m 38 came up much earlier in the conversation before the case of beer purchase request was made. Now, I didn’t have to pay for it (the beer, not the compliment). He gave me the money. I just had to go to the store and buy it and no, he is not underage.

But it was pouring rain and I thought that was a lot to ask of someone you don’t know that well but seeing as how I didn’t have my umbrella and it wouldn’t have made much of a difference if I had, I was about to get soaked walking from where I was to my car, so I agreed to the beer purchase.  Once in the store, I had difficulties getting the case of beer out of the cooler. It was wedged in fairly well. I ripped open one end of the case trying to get it out so when I got to the cashier I told her I was the one who accidentally opened the case. She was like do you want another one and I was like they’re just going to open it as soon as they get it so it doesn’t matter. And the guy behind me laughed and said beer never stays in the case very long.

Now the people who were going to immediately help themselves to the beer are old. They are residents of the assisted living facility where I volunteer though I didn’t sign on as a beer fetching volunteer. But they love their happy hour which they have everyday except Sunday at 3:30 because they eat dinner at 4:30, so it was almost worth getting soaked in rain during the beer purchase escapade because most of them are pretty nice even if they don’t always remember where they are. And they like their beer. That, they can remember.

I would have gotten soaked anyway and not just from the initial walk from where I was to my car. I had to stop at the bank and it was still raining so I got a little more rain soaked. Then I went to the Verizon store or where the Verizon store used to be. It was now raining very hard but I climbed out of my car and made it to the door of the store. It was locked. I peered in the windows and it was dark then I looked up. Way up. There was a sign on the door that they had relocated on January 26th. But they left the big Verizon sign out by the highway.

And the sign on the door announcing their relocation was above eye level and not just my eye level, but above normal people’s eye level. I’m not normal people (I know you thought I was going to say I’m not normal, and it is true that I’m not a full time resident of those parts but I visit often enough to be able to pass as normal when necessary.) So I got more soaked and I didn’t get my old cell phone cancelled. I’ll have to do that tomorrow when I go to the movies. I think there is a Verizon counter there in the mall near the cinema.

I’m going to see Ted. It looks stupid or at least that is how it appears in the trailers, but I thought the trailers for 21 Jump Street looked stupid and I laughed through most of the movie. I am a fan of Family Guy, but I keep thinking of Peter Griffin when I hear Ted talk (in the trailers. I haven’t seen the movie yet. That’s tomorrow.).

After all that, I’m going to Jean’s for dinner and to get the goat herding update. I’ll be reprieving my role of the Lonely Goat Herd starting Friday so I won’t be spending much time in Blog Land because goat herding is hard. The previous sentence was a bit of an exaggeration. Goat herding isn’t hard. Goats, much like Earth girls, are easy. And I should know since I’m an Earth girl who is experienced in the ways of goats, at least five weeks worth a year ago. Not at least five weeks being an Earth girl experience but ways of goats experience. I have way more experience being an Earth girl.

In other news, K8edid has another writing challenge up in her seven deadly sins series. I missed telling you about a couple of them, but this one is my favorite deadly sin if one can have just one favorite and it is lust. How can you not like lust? Lust stirs our primal urges, fills us with desire. Our cravings become insatiable. Yes, lust is definitely my favorite. The rules are pretty simple. You write about lust, someone dies and do it in under 600 or so words by a certain date which is a week or so away. The rules are right here.

I know many of my readers are talented fiction writers so I’m hoping to read some lusty erotic tragic stories. Or perhaps a lusty erotic comedy where someone dies because death can be funny if you’re not the one dying. Of course to pull that off you must possess a warped sense of humor and I know from visiting some of your blogs, that some of you are a bit warped.

So, to recap. Goats are like Earth girls and old people like their beer (the beer old people drink not the Earth girl or goat beer) and if you get out of your car when it is pouring rain, you’ll get soaked and you can’t believe every Verizon sign that you see. Lust is the lustiest of the seven sins and some of you are warped and I may not be normal. So now that the recap is done, it is time for a night cap, though I should probably practice my yodeling first.

These aren’t goats so I don’t know if they are easy, but they might be related to goats, so they might be easy.

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18 thoughts on “Warped Goats Assisted Earth Girls In Rainy Beer Escapade

  1. I thought Ted would be stupid, but it was awesome. It helps to remember the 80s. When a clip of Johnny Carson came on, my “boy genius” nephew asked, “Who is that?”

  2. Hilarious! (and bighorns certainly aren’t easy – so anyone could tell they aren’t goats – or Earth girls..but they might like some beer, but fighting old guys for it? No doubt who would win there)
    Thanks for the chuckles

  3. I’ll be curious to know how you like Ted. It was on your recommend that I saw 21 jump street and I thought it was hilarious.
    As for the beer run, you know what they say, no good deed goes unpunished.

  4. Can I just say this is one of the most epic titles I’ve seen on WordPress? And that I wish I could say I’m an Earth boy who is experienced in the ways of goats? The guy who said beer never stays in the case very long is a very wise man.

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