It’s that moment everyone has at some point in or on or along, I really don’t know how the whole space time continuum is supposed to work or be, or perhaps it was and we’re just now seeing it, but any way it’s somewhere in, on or along there when you begin to wonder if you are becoming someone you never thought you would become but not becoming in a good like when an actor is just hoping to make a modest living practicing his craft then makes it big kind of way. No, this is the I can’t believe I’m becoming the person I never wanted to be way, also known as the bad way.
And it is not necessarily a total package kind of thing. It might be that as a kid you always swore you would have a very cool job and never let yourself get sucked into a drab 9 to 5 cubicle existence, then you have that moment as you’re punching the clock at the start or end of another boring pushing meaningless papers around day that you realize you are doing the very thing you didn’t want to do. But you tell yourself that’s just the way life is and what you need to do to get by. Or perhaps, you were fearless when you were younger but you found that as you got older and took on more responsibilities, you started to become a bit more cautious which then progressed to the point where you always err on the side of caution even though you know caution is rarely the fun side. And you realize when you start to back away from something that somewhere along the way you lost that fearlessness and you are far worse for it. But you console yourself by thinking that playing it safe will mean you will win in the end. And none of those examples are as bad a waking up from a coma with amnesia then regaining your memory only to find that you are a serial ax murderer responsible for 28 deaths in five different states. Now, that would be bad.
But I didn’t just wake up from a coma though sometimes it feels as if I did. Then I thought why not just add another “m” to coma to get comma because commas always help add a bit of clarity to sentences and it probably works for thoughts because every sentence is a thought even though every thought is not a sentence. While not as dire as awaking from a comma coma, lately I have been having those moments of not being able to reconcile reality as it is because that is what makes it real with the memory of my expectation of what it would be but not in the way you might think.
I don’t really focus on me or my circumstances, rather the world at large. I can’t help but feel overwhelmingly that something is seriously wrong with how the vast majority of us go about the business of our lives. And I can’t help but wonder if we are such intelligent creatures why we aren’t farther along the technology curve than we are. Where are flying cars and teleportation? Those of you old enough to remember the mid part of the last century understand. We all thought the 21st century would be a futuristic marvel, a sort of utopia of more leisurely living and space travel.
But the 21st century isn’t anything like that. Much of the technology seems designed to keep us focused on mundanity and in a semi-catatonic state. Think I’m wrong? Sit in a public place and watch people paying close attention to how attached they are to their phones. And I can’t help but think that as sentient, intelligent, creative beings we could do much better. We are not living up to our full potential. The status quo is not working at best and at worst is a conspiracy to make us into docile imbecilic sheeple. And if it is a conspiracy, it is working remarkably well.
I don’t know what the solution might be, but we need to start talking about it and making some changes. Perhaps it is time for another Renaissance or Enightenment or one of those other historical periods where people could have reasonable discourses about divergent points of view on topics of morality, philosophy and science with the added bonus of compassionate tolerance. And all of that would lead to changes both small and large that could reshape our visions of community and society and creativity and authenticity.
It would be like the ripples in the pond that a pebble makes when it is tossed into the aforementioned pond. Or it would be like that butterfly effect thing where if you say the words butterfly effect and a butterfly dies on the other side of the world. Although it’s kind of awful and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for mass butterfly fatalities, it’s possible that I may not truly understand the meaning of butterfly effect and am just making stuff up because I didn’t see any more of the movie than the coming soon poster hanging in the lobby way back when. I think it had a butterfly over someone’s mouth or maybe that was Silence of the Lambs and not the Butterfly Effect. But we’ve killed enough butterflies for now, so we’ll stay with the less dangerous pebble pond ripple analogy.
So it’s time for us to wake up from our comma comas and start throwing pebbles in ponds and see where the ripples go although they usually go out from the point of impact I don’t think there is any getting around that, at least not in this dimension. But we need to start. And always remember that every mighty oak tree was once a little nut that stood its ground. Although sometimes it is good to sway with the times like a palm tree and not be so rigidly oak like. Of course, it is also good to move about instead of always being rooted in the same place so maybe trees are not what we should aspire to be or take inspiration from but the oak tree – nut thing had the added bonus of a crazy tie in and not that the tie in was crazy but that we were tying in to crazy which is a little bit like jumping on the crazy train although you can’t be partly on the crazy train. It is an all or nothing deal.
All Aboard! Who’s with me?