Do Mad Cows Recycle?

Much like Calvin, I often have questions that don’t pertain to the subject at hand. For example or exempli gratia for Latin aficionados, while watching the news, a story came up pertaining to mad cow disease. It was noted that the disease was discovered in a dairy cow that turned up at a dead livestock recycling center.

Am I the only one wondering about the last four words of the previous sentence? I vacillate between images of zombie cows lugging bins of empty beer cans to a recycling center and wondering exactly which parts of dead livestock get recycled. I think I’m more comfortable with the zombie cows than recycled parts of dead livestock.

And then there was the Goldilocks thing. On Friday morning, I read the Trifecta challenge to rewrite the Goldilocks and the Three Bears fairy tale. I thought about entering the challenge until I realized I couldn’t remember how Goldilocks ended. Most fairy tales end with the ‘they lived happily ever after’ scenario, but I couldn’t fathom how that would apply to Goldilocks.

It seemed to make sense that the bears upon discovering a vandal in their home would end up feasting upon said vandal in which case the bears might live happily ever after unless they had irritable bowel syndrome but that couldn’t be said for Goldilocks and while we don’t know the state of her bowels, we do know that if she were consumed by the bears she wouldn’t be living happily ever after.

It seems plausible that in early versions of the fairy tale, Goldilocks most likely met her demise at the hands or paws of the bears. But the Grimm Brothers probably made the tale less grim because they weren’t quite as grim as their name suggests and Goldilocks somehow managed to escape. However, just because she escaped doesn’t mean she lived happily ever after. Perhaps this was just the beginning of her life of crime. She probably graduated from home invasions to carriage jacking.

Nor did the Bears live happily ever after. They had to contend with the trauma of having their privacy violated not to mention repairing chairs and installing dead bolts and burglar bars on their windows.

So I didn’t answer the challenge because I was distracted wondering how many other fairy tales didn’t have happily ever after endings. That and I was without a computer Friday night and Saturday while I was petsitting and upon my return home, my old laptop finally breathed its last and I didn’t get a replacement until Monday night so I missed the deadline.

But there is another writing challenge to consider and I am hoping some of my readers who are also fabulous writers will consider submitting entries. K8edid has put together a writing challenge on the seven deadly sins. First up is gluttony. I know the number 600 was mentioned though I don’t recall if it was in reference to weight or word counts. Someone needs to die, but only in the story, it is, after all, about deadly sins and there was mention of famous K8edid chocolate chip cookies as a prize. You can check out the rules here.

While I may have committed a deadly sin or two – okay, five quickly come to mind and said commissions of five separate sins occurred on more than one occasion, my writing is more a slice of life or glimpse into a possibly not normal mind rather than fiction. And so far, my sin committing has not resulted in my death so my personal sin commission stories would not pass the someone must die requirement of the challenge so I’m not sure I’m up for the challenge.

Unless I’m already dead. In which case I have more in common with the mad zombie cow lugging a bin of empty beer cans to a recycling center than I care to admit though I’m still a bit fuzzy on the point of human existence.

28 thoughts on “Do Mad Cows Recycle?

  1. Hilariousl I will be attending a conference with all sorts of FDA folks tomorrow. If I run into any food folks I’ll ask. If I am brave enough. Because the conference started today and they served beef :(.

    • Oh, please ask because this inquiring mind wants to know which parts of dead livestock are recycled unless they’re recycled into beef dinners for conference goers then, never mind.

          • OK. I did it. You would have been proud of me. The long answer is filled with words I don’t recall like “rendered” and “poly-this” and DNA-infective transitory pathways. It wasn’t pretty.

            Short answer: dead livestock recycling center = the glue factory. Where they send the old, sick ones that are not fit for slaughter. These are the ones that do not end up in the food chain.

  2. No wonder the cows are mad! How could anyone expect them to pick up and carry those smushed cans to the recycle center without dropping things? They can’t bear it! Asking too much…the cow labor board needs to check into this. (and Ugh, shiver, the places that really claim recycled cow parts….)

  3. As always, a spectacular ramble!
    Just so you know, the original Grimm fairytales are much darker than the Disnyfied versions, and much better than the American takes on them.

  4. Heehee!
    The point of human existence is as an exempli gratia to mad cows and all other forms of life on how not to behave?
    In my learned treatise on Golidilocks, I have explained how the incident led to the famous Teddy Bears’ Picnic.

    • An example of how not to be – I like that! Since I was without the internet for a couple of days and still getting used to my new computer, I’m behind on my reading. I haven’t had a chance to read the Trifecta entries, but I’ll pop over later to read yours!

  5. Very funny stuff!!! I can’t remember how Goldilocks ended either. I vaguely recall the 3 bears coming home finding they were violated and the little bitch was sleeping in baby bears bed.

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