What I Have Not Been Doing All Month

I sometimes feel that I am becoming a bit of a recluse. So much has happened this month that I missed. I was so busy on the second day of the month wondering about whether the groundhog ever gets tired of being responsible for predicting the approach of spring that I totally missed out on Duckbill Platypus Day which also occurred on February 2nd.  I suppose I’ll save the duckbill mask and poisonous ankle spines for next year’s celebration.

Then there was the 5th of February. That was Dump Your Significant Jerk Day. It was apparently a week long celebration that kicked off on that day. I’m not too sad about missing out on all that fun as I didn’t and still don’t have a significant jerk to dump. However, if I did have a significant jerk to dump, I wouldn’t have waited until February 5th to do it. I would have dumped the jerk before he became significant.

Then along came February 7th. That was Wave All Your Fingers At Your Neighbor Day. Instead of just the one you normally wave?  I normally wave all my fingers at my neighbors because I have nice neighbors, but I didn’t realize there was a special day for it. I just wave my fingers when I’m outside and my neighbors are also outside. Sometimes we even say, “Hello.”

Next came Satisfied Staying SIngle Day on the 11th. Even though I didn’t realize the significance of the day, I did replace batteries that morning. What a difference fresh batteries make! I’m single and satisfied!

The very next day was World Marriage Day. I’m not sure who the World married but I’m hoping it was Pluto. That would be like getting a planetary green card and Pluto could stay in the solar system.

On the very same day that the World got married, Darwin Day was celebrated. I missed that, too.  I don’t think too many creationists were celebrating that day. It is a bit peculiar that creationists don’t buy into Darwin’s theory on evolution but many of them like to apply Darwinian thought to social justice. They probably don’t notice the irony in that.

Get A Different Name Day was the 13th although I’m unclear if the day was to be used for an official name change or just to try out a new moniker. I rather like my name but some people think my middle name is a bit unusual. By itself, Likea seems odd, but when it is stuck between my first and last names and said all together, it has a nice ring to it.

I didn’t so much miss Valentine’s Day on the 14th, as ignore it. I had no idea I could have been celebrating Extraterrestrial Culture Day or Ferris Wheel Day or Library Lovers Day or National Condom Day or Quirky Alone Day instead.

I also missed National Gumdrop Day on the 15th and Innovation Day on the 16th. The 17th was My Way Day. I wonder if those celebrating My Way Day ate at Burger King. Oddly, the 17th was also Random Acts of Kindness Day. Somehow, I don’t think too many random acts of kindness were perpetrated by My Way Day celebrators. Of course, I think every day should be Random Acts of Kindness Day. Why should we only commit random acts of kindness or act randomly kind or kind of act random just one day a year?

Not only did I miss out on these special days, there were entire celebratory weeks I missed.  Boy Scout Anniversary Week, Just Say No To Power Point Week, Getting Dizzy Week, Jell-O Week, National Nestbox Week and Love a Mensch Week flew under my radar.

Fortunately, February is not quite over so I can still join the month long celebrations of International Hoof-Care Month, Avocado and Banana Month, Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month, National Pet Dental Health Month, Return Shopping Carts to the Supermarket Month, and Spunky Old Broads Month. I wonder if that last one has a t-shirt. I’m way ahead of the game on Pull Your Sofa Off The Wall Month since my sofa isn’t on the wall. It’s on the floor.

There are still a few special days left in the month. National Margarita Day is on the 22nd. I might have to swap my glass of sangria for a margarita. National Chili Day is the 23rd. If the temperature drops below 70 degrees Fahrenheit I might cook a batch and join in that celebration. Open That Bottle Night is the 25th. For Pete’s Sake Day is the 26th. Rare Disease Day and National Tooth Fairy Day battle it out on the 28th. And of course, Leap Year Day is the 29th. I don’t want to miss that one or I’ll have to wait four years for it to come back around. I better mark my calendar.





23 thoughts on “What I Have Not Been Doing All Month

  1. You left out Be Humble Day on the 22nd, but I’m not celebrating that. I’m looking forward to National Goof Off Day on March 22nd. That way I can celebrate what I do anyway.

  2. Dang … I missed so much – but the good news is that the month isn’t over! Then again, maybe I should record these for 2013. Great post Sandy!

  3. In the 1980s I was a low level lobbyist — I had to lobby to have 1986 deemed “The Oil Heat Centennial” — which happened in late November. I nearly got fired when I missed the proclamation.

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