During my morning rounds yesterday, and no I’m not a doctor or a doctor in training, but I do have a quasi routine that I follow when I check my email which goes something like open the mail program, quickly delete the junk and then read the other stuff, I was struck by inspiration or rather I was once again inspired to steal someone else’s idea.
There are oodles of awards floating around these parts and occasionally they land on my blog. Sometimes they land on other blogs. No one seems to know where these awards originated and many equate them to the blog version of chain letters. A recent recipient of yet another award was Edward Hotspur and in his acceptance post or the comments on the post he mused that he might come up with his own awards. I thought that was an idea worth stealing, so I did. I can come up with wacky nonsensical awards as well as the next person as long as the next person isn’t Edward Hotspur, his will probably be even wackier and more nonsensical than mine, though time will tell if time ever learns to speak.
The No Bunny Does It Better Award because who doesn’t like bad puns. The beauty of this award is it won’t be passed around ad nauseam. Why is that? Well, if you get the No Bunny Does It Better Award that must mean that you do it better than any bunny else so there would be no bunny else that would deserve it.
The Dandy Doodle Award is perfect for those blogs that you think about as you doodle and that’s what makes your doodles dandy. Now this award should have those mandatory inane questions that we all hate to answer when we get these awards. Questions like Do you doodle in pen or pencil? Where do you like to doodle? What are your favorite doodles? Do you drool when you doodle? If so, wouldn’t that be droodling?
The Cute Little Kittens Award is perfect for those saccharin sweet blogs that make you want to gag on a Shetland pony. Of course, you might want to refrain from telling the recipients that. Or, you could be ironic with this award and give it to a blog dedicated to rants about kittens and other cutesy subjects or just rants in general. The more profane the ranting is, the more ironic this award would be.
The If Pigs Could Fly Award is perfect for those blogs that make you do a Scooby Doo impersonation while wondering what the hockey puck is going on. It could also be used for those blogs that are so beautifully written that you know they have about as much of a chance of making the Freshly Pressed page as pigs do of learning to fly.
The Most Awesomely Awesomesauciest Awesome Award of Awesomeness should be given to those blogs that can’t get through a post without exclaiming just how awesome everything in their immediate environment is all while being oblivious to the fact that the word that once meant full of awe now is used anytime anyone can’t possibly fathom a better way of expressing that feeling of overwhelming joy, bliss, astonishment or even awe over the most banal and trivial acts that are just the tiniest bit positive than by using the most overused adjective in recent memory. Awesome has become tomorrow’s yesteryear’s cat’s meow. However, if you are the recipient of this awesomely awesome award, then by all means, invoke the rule of awesomesauce and inject the words ‘awesome’ and ‘awesomesauce’ in every third sentence of your acceptance post because that would be totally awesome!
Why a Tusker Beer Award? Why not? I didn’t know when I peeled the label off that beer bottle back in 2000 while on safari in Kenya, then tucked the label safely in my carry on bag, then stuck it in my photo album that one day I would be able to turn it into a cool blog award by printing the word “Award” using Marker Felt font, then cutting it out, taping it over the label and scanning it into my computer. And yet I think I put about as much effort and thought into making this blog award as I did into the other blog awards I created. So perhaps this award is best for those blogs you’d toast with a Tusker beer if you were reading the blog while on safari in Kenya though it would have been difficult to read a blog on the Masai Mara seeing as how we didn’t have electricity or running water and the only communication with the outside world was with a satellite phone during the 20 minutes a day that the satellite was above us. I guess that means that this is the most special of all of the awards I’ve ever created, so if you ever receive this award then you should feel most special.
I’ve created these, dare I say, awesome awards for you to steal and pass on to all those deserving or undeserving blogs as you see fit. If you’d like to bestow any of these most awesome awards on blogs you think are deserving of such awesomely silly awards, then please steal the awesome logos and bestow away. If you’ve never received a blog award and are feeling a bit left out, then steal one of these silly awesomely cool award logos and plaster it on the sidebar of your blog. It will make you look cool or popular or pretentious or awesome depending on who is doing the looking.
All of this awesome award creationism has left me feeling awesome about my ability to steal someone else’s awesome idea and put my own awesomely twisted spin on it. This has been a totally awesome
waste use of the time I was going to spend trying to come up with an awesome replacement for the word ‘awesome.’