A Box of Chocolates

I’ve been contemplating yesterday’s events. No, not the rescue of Iranian fishermen from Somali pirates by the US Navy that resulted in manly hugs, but the appearance on my doorstep of a man I hadn’t seen or heard from in a year and a half.

I opened the door, but only a crack, and there he was babbling about losing his phone so he didn’t have my number, though he didn’t say if he lost my number a year and a half ago or a couple of days ago. We chatted for a couple of minutes  through the partly opened door before I sent him on his way.

He had wanted to come in and in his words “practice a few dance steps.” Now, I like to dance, but showing up unannounced after 18 months is a little weird. And even though it was 1:00 in the afternoon, I hadn’t yet showered and dressed for the day. My goal each day is to be showered and dressed by noon, but I don’t always achieve that goal, unless it is a Monday, Tuesday or Thursday because those are the days I usually have to be somewhere by !:00. In case you’re wondering, I’m not going to achieve that goal today either. Perhaps I need a new goal.

Later that afternoon, after showering and dressing, I wandered out to the mailbox to get my mail. Among the mail was a box of chocolates tied up with a ribbon and card. My first thought was that my postal person had left me a late Christmas gift, but I thought that was odd as we barely speak but do occasionally wave at each other. I opened the card. It was from my surprise visitor, let’s call him Carlos, because that’s his name. This is what it said.

“You are a wonderful person and woman. Miss you/talking to you. Hope the new year will bring you everything you wished for. Carlos” 

He wrote his phone number under his name.  Now, I face a dilemma, and not just whether I should point out the redundancy in his opening sentence, which if I do point it out to him, might make me seem less than wonderful. No, the true dilemma is that I feel compelled to call or text him a thank you for the chocolates which are delicious, but I’m not sure I want him to have my number. But not acknowledging the gift would be ungrateful and again would make me less than wonderful. I’m always grateful for chocolate although I’m not always wonderful.

Maybe I’ll send a generic thank you text. Yes, I’ll probably do that, but I might wait until tomorrow because why do today what I can put off until tomorrow. Besides, I still need to take a shower.

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20 thoughts on “A Box of Chocolates

  1. Don’t do it! He kept you waiting, why should you be responsive just because he shows up with a box of chocolates! Stick to your guns, girl!

  2. Good luck, be careful.

    And I only think you’d need a new goal if you did manage to get showered and dressed by !:00.
    Obviously, you still have plenty to strive for on this admirable goal.

  3. Unlike a box of chocolates, you know what you’re gonna get with this guy. So you know what to do.

    Dear Carlos:
    Thanks for the box of chocolates, and that’s it.

    Restraining order,
    Sandy

  4. Isn’t there a feature that would allow you to call while blocking your number so the person you’re calling doesn’t see it? If it were me and all I want is to say thank you and not let him have my number, I’d call, rather than text (only because texting would give him my number). And I’d keep the conversation short and simple. If it leads to “when can we get together…”, it’ll be another opportunity for me to say what I want/don’t want. That would be empowering. I don’t know the details of the background between the two of you so it’s a bit tricky but I’d look at this as a way for me to take my power back and stay in my own center, without letting the chocolates melt my heart…. 🙂 Blessings and love & light!!!

    • I’m not sure about the number blocking feature, so I’ll probably just stick to a text message. And no worries about the chocolates. They might tickle my taste buds, but they won’t melt my heart. Thanks for stopping by and the advice!

  5. I don’t know…that’s kind of creepy. It’s obvious he knows your address, so what would have been wrong with propriety from him in the form of a quick letter appropriately mailed stating, “I’m sorry we’ve fallen out of touch, but I’d love to catch up with you. Here’s my number. Call if you’d like to grab lunch sometime.” That does two things; it leaves the ball in your court to reach out to him without feeling “coerced” into responding and lets you meet him somewhere public, somewhere you choose and feel safe. That gift of chocolates to me would feel like I’m being forced into an emotional response. But that’s just me, and I’m super paranoid about such things. No matter what you do, be safe. We care!

    • Thanks, H.E. I hadn’t really thought about feeling coerced into an emotional response, but it does feel like that. No worries about safety as I don’t think he’s dangerous. It was all just rather odd.

  6. I think he’s trying to guilt-gift. He should have accepted your polite rejection and left you alone. He knows he put you in an uncomfortable position. I say eat the chocolates and leave it be, or if you really want to thank him, send a brief thank you text and don’t respond to his replies after that. (I know it’s weird that I don’t know you and am trying to give advice, but that particular type of gesture drives me crazy).

  7. Sandy,
    I read this while out where I couldn’t respond as me, Elyse the worry-wart. On my blog I pretend to be snarky and wise, but when I read your piece all I could hear in my head was the Robot from “Lost in Space” — “Warning, Danger Will Robinson!!!!” So I’ll show my age which is old enough to remember Lost in Space.

    The mom in me say, ummmm, I’m pretty sure that he did not want to: “practice a few dance steps.” The woman in me says tell him that you want to practice the can-can and he gets to be in front. Then kick him in the ass out the door.

    Some men are assholes. Some aren’t. You deserve the latter.

    Keep the chocolates.

    • You crack me up, Elyse! We’re the same age so I do remember Lost In Space. My danger Will Robinson alarm did not go off. I just thought the whole episode was odd but would rather he not have my number. Thanks for your concern.

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