Practically Perfect In Every Way

Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson

This is the time of year that people start making resolutions and making known to others what those resolutions are. I have a love/hate relationship with resolutions. I love the idea of self improvement but hate to think I have a self that needs improving. After all, I like to think that I am like Mary Poppins – practically perfect in every way.

Resolutions also involve change. Now, some people don’t like change. Not me – I like change. Quarters are my favorite. They are the most accepted change in various vending/slot machines. Sometimes there is not much difference between a vending and a slot machine, like when you put your money in the snack/chip/cookie machine and punch in the wrong numbers. Or you punch in the right numbers, but your bag of chips gets stuck on its way to the retrieval slot. You didn’t get what you wanted for your quarters.

My love affair with quarters started in college. Happy hours often meant quarter beers at the local drinking establishments.  Just to clarify the previous statement, you could get a draft beer for a quarter, not a quarter of a beer for some other price. You could get five songs for a quarter on the juke box. I could get drunk and dance for a couple of dollars. Now lest you think I was engaging in underaged drinking, back then the drinking age was 18. That was a long time ago, way back in the stoned age also known as the 70s.

I seem to have taken a slight detour from my opening paragraph. Some people don’t like detours. The detours mess up their travel plans. Not me – I like taking those detours. You never know what you might see.  You get to travel down a stretch of road or just a path in your mind you might never have traveled because you always stick to your usual route.  It’s like a mini adventure.  Embrace the detours! That could be your resolution if you normally start grumbling at the mere sight of a detour sign.

Many people make resolutions to lose weight or get in shape or get fit. That’s the kind of resolution that requires action. Not the kind of action that involves typing, but actual action that requires movement of major muscle groups. No more sitting around for you! I’m not going to make one of those resolutions.  I enjoy my sitting around time and I’m already quasi fit. I don’t get out of breath going out to get the mail. Sure, I could lose 5 or 6 pounds, but it’s not critical to my well being.  So I’ll just keep on doing what I do which is doing something physical most days of the week. See – practically perfect already.

I could probably resolve to eat less sweet stuff – sugar, chocolate, cookies, agave nectar, but dessert is my favorite part of a meal. I sometimes just eat dessert for my meal. I used to eat microwave popcorn and frozen cookie dough for dinner several times a week. I don’t do that anymore, but I did overindulge in the snickerdoodles last night. They pair quite well with wine. No, if I cut out the sweet stuff, I’ll be cranky. I don’t like cranky people and I don’t want to be a cranky person, so I’ll keep on indulging.

I’m all out of ideas for how to improve my practically perfect self, but I have a few days to come up with a resolution or two. How about you? What are your resolutions for the coming year?

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16 thoughts on “Practically Perfect In Every Way

  1. I intend to do the things we all promise; improve my health, break a bad habit, learn a new skill. But I also have a big one that I’m going to keep to myself. I pray I’m successful.

  2. It doesn’t matter how noble my intentions are or how thorough my planning is; any resolution I make will get broken. In the words of Charlie Harper:

    ‎”Look at every New Year’s resolution I’ve ever made. I’ve got the best of intentions, but by January third or fourth, there I am broke, hung over, and coughing up stripper glitter.”

  3. I’m not so good at this resolution thing. I wrote a post last week (http://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2011/12/19/so-these-two-guys-are-walking-along/) telling the world about my resolution to stop eavesdropping on people. I was convinced by popular acclaim (at least TWO people) to not give up my nasty habit. And so, before the New Year even started, before Christmas had begun. Before Hanukkah had begun, I broke my resolution and decided to keep on eavesdropping.

    I learned something from this post. I learned that everyone who reads my blog is as warped as I am. I also learned something ELSE I didn’t know — I learned something new from this post — that eavesdropping has an “a” and two “p”s. So I figure I came out ahead.

    Love the quarters, the detours, the fun. You ARE practically perfect in every way!

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