Happy Boxing Day! Today is the day you can randomly punch people you pass on the street and not get arrested for assault. Wait, I’m being told by the person standing behind me reading over my shoulder that is not what Boxing Day is.
My next guess is that Boxing Day is the day you take the boxes of stuff you got for Christmas but find revolting back to the store to exchange for boxes of stuff you might actually use. This doesn’t sound like a fun day to me – long lines, rude people you’d like to punch. Again, I’m being told that is not what Boxing Day is.
Apparently, Boxing Day is some random holiday celebrated by people living in certain places around the world for some unknown reason resulting in a day off of work. If you want to know more about it, then look it up. I would look it up for you, but I don’t really care because if I did care I already would have looked it up. I only know it’s Boxing Day because my calendar must have been produced in a country that celebrates this random holiday because it is imprinted on the calendar.
More likely, Boxing Day really was a day you could punch people, but then the PC police got involved and took all of the fun out of the day. So now it’s just another government holiday in certain parts of the world. Let’s bring back the true or literal meaning of Boxing Day! So have a Happy Boxing Day and punch someone for me! Again, I’m being told you shouldn’t go around punching random people.
I’m not sure how much fun I’ll have if I can’t punch someone. I’m feeling a bit punchy today. I was so looking forward to punching people today with no consequences. Why did the calendar tease me with Boxing Day? I suppose I could have punch instead. Yes, spiked punch!! That will liven up my day.