Placing My Karmic Order

I have no idea what happens after we die. No one does. Even people who say they know, don’t. They’re just going on faith, because faith is simply believing in something you can’t prove.

One of my favorite expressions is, “I’m hoping to be taller in my next life.”  Invariably, someone (by someone, I mean a friend) will state rather emphatically, “There’s no such thing as reincarnation.”  Now, depending on my mood, I might engage them in a religious discussion by saying, “How do you know?”  Though most of the time, I simply say, “One can dream.”  But what I really want to say is “Get a sense of humor!”

This is not going to be a religious post because I’m not a religious person. I do like the idea of reincarnation, and just in case it is what happens, I’d like to put my cosmic or karmic order in for what I would like in my next life. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works or that’s how it should work.

It’s probably a good idea to state one’s karmic wish for the next life on a fairly regular basis.  If you only state it once and whoever is in charge of granting such karmic wishes is on break, you may end up as escargot, which is fine if your wish is to bathe in warm buttery garlic goodness, but not so good if you were hoping to play for the NBA.  I state my wish quite often because the squeaky pipsqueak has lots of opportunities to state her wish.

Most often, I get the opportunity when I’m grocery shopping.  If an item I wish to buy is on the edge of the uppermost shelf, then I can usually reach it if I stand on my tippy toes. If it is not on the edge, but not too far back, I can reach it by climbing on to the bottom shelf. The people who work in the grocery store generally frown on this behavior. If they are about, they come running over and I can usually work my karmic wish into the conversation. If I can’t reach the item I try to flag down a taller person for assistance, though typically there is never a tall person around when you need one, but they somehow manage to find me in a movie theater and sit right in front of me. This gives me another opportunity to state my karmic wish to my seatmate.

When I can’t reach an item or find a tall person, this makes for an interesting conversation with the checkout people. They are always so nice to ask if I found everything I was looking for but seem unprepared for my answer.

“Yes, I did find it, but sadly it was beyond my reach so I was not able to grasp it and place it in my shopping cart. I’m hoping to be taller in my next life as grocery shopping will be a much more enjoyable endeavor.”

“Do you need help?”

“Oh, yes, more than you know.”

It might help to be more specific about my height wishes. I’m thinking 5’6 to 5’8 would be a good height. I would then be tall enough to be a Rockette. I only mention being specific because it is quite possible that the reason I am so vertically challenged in this life is that in my previous life I was freakishly tall. I probably went around saying, “I’m hoping to be shorter in my next life.”  So I did get my previous life’s karmic wish, I just wasn’t specific enough.  Karma does have a wicked sense of humor.

16 thoughts on “Placing My Karmic Order

  1. I’m leaning towards being a freakishly large bird in my next life. Then I could fly, eat and poop where I wanted…or maybe I should just wish for being a man…hmmm….

    • That’s a dilemma. As a man, you would be able to pee standing up which often comes in handy while exploring the great outdoors and marking your territory, but as a freakishly large bird, you could do that and fly. I think I’d go with the bird.

  2. If you’re looking at 5’6 to 5’8 you should probably also specific you want to come back as a female. And a human. Just a suggestion…

  3. Funnily enough, I was writing a post on the topic of grocery store shelves earlier today, when my internet connection died for most of the day. But you did it for me! Thanks — Maybe if we’re in the store together you can stand on my shoulders …

  4. I climb up as many shelves as I have to. I grab onto whatever I can reach and keep pulling myself higher and higher. I usually have to see the chiropractor the next day but I always get my can of beans . . . or whatever. If you’re determined enough to reach new heights in this life, you won’t have to worry about the next. At least that’s what I’m hoping because I sure don’t want to come back. I have a feeling I’ve already been around so many times I’m dizzy and not having much fun on the ride anymore. Except for days like this when I discover a great blog. Thanks for the grins!

  5. 1) This is my first-ever encounter with a paragraph including escargot, garlic, and the NBA.
    2) A 5’6″ – 5’8″ dingo is would make a good pet for Gulliver.
    3) Thanks for grins.

  6. I am 6’2″, and I have wanted to be shorter in my next life – I always sat last in the class (not that I would have loved to be sitting at the first row, but somewhere in the middle would have been nice), the last person in photographs and so on.. Now that you say it, I better be specific about “how short”…. huh! Great post…. 🙂

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