Cotton Balls and Haunted Neighborhoods

Tuesday mornings are always fun. I volunteer at an assisted living facility. I give the residents manicures in the onsite beauty salon.  CNAs and aides are always popping in and out of the salon helping the residents who have difficulty walking or remembering where they are going. Today’s chatter was quite entertaining. Here are the hight points.

Fran: Can you help me with my sweater? (One arm is in the sweater, the other is not.)

Me: Sure. Are you putting it on or taking it off?

Fran: I don’t remember. Let’s try putting it on.

Me: The cotton balls are missing.

Carol: Who would take cotton balls?

Fran: I’m going to investigate the cotton ball theft.

Jessie: I’m missing my bags.

Fran: They’re under your eyes.

Carol: I don’t want any one washing my bottom but me.

Fran: You want someone to wash your bottom?

Carol: No, I want to be the only one washing my bottom.

Fran: Did you take our cotton balls?

Jessie: Not me, did you check with Shane?

Delma: I’m clean. Don’t touch me.

Fran: What?

Delma: I’m clean. I just had a shower.

Fran: Did you wash your own bottom?

Delma: I don’t think so. I was sitting down.

Jennifer: My house is haunted.

Me: How so?

Jennifer: I hear knocking noises (knocks on the door to demonstrate the sound) but when I go to the door, no one is there. I make sure the door is locked. Then later I hear the knocking again and this time I make my husband check it out and our door is standing open. Our house is haunted.

Carol: The house on the corner of your street is haunted.

Jennifer: Really?

Carol: Yes, they found blood spots in it.

Me: Maybe your neighborhood is built on an Indian burial ground.

Jennifer: Could be. I’ll check it out.

Fran: We need to find our cotton balls.

Carol: Our streets don’t have Indian names. They have Civil War names like Gettysburg.

Jennifer: Do you think dead Civil War soldiers are haunting our neighborhood?

Me: They do a Civil War battle reenactment every year, so I suppose there was a skirmish nearby.

Jennifer: I’m going to check that out. That’s probably on the internet.

Liz: I did 50 cartwheels last night. I think I hurt my back.

Carol: Why were you doing cartwheels?

Liz: My son needed to practice cartwheels, so I was showing him how to do them. What’s for lunch today?

Carol: I hope it’s loaded baked potato soup. I like the bacon they put in it.

Liz: Yeah, Claire is cooking today. She makes the best soup. And cookies.

Carol: Do you know what happened to the cotton balls?

Liz: They’re in Shane’s office. We thought we might need them for the flu shots. Are there cookies up here?

Carol: Yes, peanut butter.

Fran: I’ll get the cotton balls from Shane.

On that note, my shift was over, so I grabbed a peanut butter cookie and headed out the door.

Me: Have a good week everyone. See you next Tuesday.

Carol: I’m painting my house purple this weekend. I live on Lilac Street.

Me: Well, it’s supposed to be sunny this weekend, so you should have good weather for  it.  See you next week.

But the best part of my Tuesday ~ four men flirted with me at the grocery store! That hasn’t happened in a long time!



4 thoughts on “Cotton Balls and Haunted Neighborhoods

  1. You’re grocery store Tuesday is better than mine. One of the kids who works at the grocery store here called me ma’am. I almost broke my “no cry” rule.

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